Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
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Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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