I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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