Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She announced her abortion via fbk
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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