Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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