you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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