One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
