fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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