you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
