Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
