And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You made out with two different species that night
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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