if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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