I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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