I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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