you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
