All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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