How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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