So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
