i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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