bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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