There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
