It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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