On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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