Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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