the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
