all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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