"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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