Christians are straight up FREAKS
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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