I heard we made out
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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