I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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