all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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