i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
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I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
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