I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
