do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
