Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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