You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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