Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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