Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
