oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
