She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize