does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
