Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
