Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
