I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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