It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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