But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
