Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
