The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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