fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
