My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
