she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
