You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
