i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
