i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
