ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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